When navigating through life, we adopt identities tied to our talents, academic pursuits, and positions in life. What does that mean exactly? It’s when you slowly become defined by your job title, relationships, successes, and failures. Initially, you may have embraced these identities, but constantly upholding them can become draining. We explored this topic in our conversation with Dr. Ghynecee Temple about "Being The Ultimate Woman," discussing how women often try to do and be everything, and how this impacts their mental health.
Image by @itsreallynana
When I began to fully embrace my creativity by hosting events, being on-air talent, or simply writing, I faced the same challenges. At that time, I was a senior pursuing my bachelor’s degree and was becoming known as the fun, energetic, happy person on campus. Initially, I relished the opportunity to be who people needed me to be, and I carried this into my professional life. I was performing and meeting expectations, but this led to the question: "what do I want?"
Post-graduation, I continued in my creative pursuits but felt increasingly unsure of myself and exhausted. I felt like I was losing my true self by constantly trying to please others and doing nothing for me. Eventually, I became anxious, restless, and tired. One day, I decided to pause being the devoted daughter, the talented writer, and the go-to fun friend, and took a break. I decided to take myself on what I like to call a "me-cation"—a vacation just for me. I researched hotels near the beach where I could relax and step away from my titles to simply be the girl who loves watching cartoons, drinking apple juice, walking on the sand, and sleeping past noon.
According to the Mental Health Foundation, women are more likely to experience anxiety-related conditions than any other group. I share this fact to speak directly to the women who won’t relax. It is okay to be a mother who needs a break, a celebrity who falls off the grid, or a worker who uses her PTO. Remember that these titles are just a part of your identity. You are not just a mother; you are also a woman who loves, laughs, and enjoys life.
I gave the little girl in me everything she wanted and that was a moment to relax, a moment to just be whimsical and be me. Once I fed her, I felt renewed and an immeasurable amount of happiness. Finding what gives you peace and feeding that will provide you with an amount of joy, take a moment to water the seed inside that provides you joy.
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