In what is probably not news for its residents, New York emerged as the worst city in the United States for dating, particularly dating with the intent to find some stability. In a study published by FetishFinder this fall, ten U.S. cities emerged as the worst for dating using six different criteria including; how many single people live there, how likely is marriage is, what the divorce rate is, how many people are actively seeking a relationship, what’s the quality of life and what’s the cost of living?
The publication created its annual ranking using data from the U.S. Census Bureau, Google Keyword Planner and Numbeo. Besides New York, other cities including Los Angeles, Philadelphia, Chicago, San Antonio, Fort Worth, San Diego, Houston, Phoenix and San Jose respectively round out the ten worst cities for dating in the U.S.
Photo by Austin Scherbarth
If your city popped on this list, you may feel relieved. You’re right, you’re absolutely not crazy. The question then becomes, how do you move forward? Maybe we can offer a few starting points. First, what makes a city your city anyway? Like a lot of people, you’ve probably moved to one of these ten from somewhere else. Besides the obvious pull of job prospects and specific industries, what keeps you there? How would you describe your city’s charm? Its aura? How would you describe your charm? What makes you, you?
Let’s go back to our first city, New York- it's safe to assume that the average New Yorker is nothing short of ambitious. They are there for a reason and they are going to accomplish just that. Perhaps forming fulfilling relationships is elusive in NYC due to its current NYC population, of which only half were born in the city itself. Many of its residents, who are transplants leave, sometimes out of exhaustion, sometimes because the ‘dream’ involves moving somewhere else.
It's easy to see how other parts of life, such as relationships, fade into the background when the city hums with a fervor that makes it almost impossible to stay in place. Chicago is no different as well, since 2015, it has consistently ranked as one of the worst cities in America to find a relationship. Down the list of cities we can find similar experiences in L.A, Houston and all the other ten cities.
Adaaaba’s advice: We’re never ones to end on a bleak note, and we truly believe that there’s hope in the dating scene regardless of your city. To call on our questions from earlier, expand your options with an understanding of what makes you you. In other words, swipe with your values in mind and then set your location to cities that tend to draw people with similar personalities as yours. If you truly feel that you’ve exhausted all your options though, don’t be afraid to explore dating prospects outside of your city; while on vacation or on a work trip, try talking to people. When you find yourself swiping after a long day, expand your location preferences on the apps. If you do find connection and it happens to be far away, that shouldn’t be a dealbreaker.
Remember that you’re getting to know this person, and the real commitment (in the form of relocation and a permanent arrangement for you both) could come at the perfect time. If you are in a ldr at this time, congratulations! As ldr’s become more commonplace, we will try our best to continue offering insight on Adaaba. Relationships, like much else in life, are not a straightforward path, try to find some consolation in the fact that you're not the only one having a hard time dating, and look towards this-it's always worth it in the end.
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